I'm extremely hungry for the things of God these days. It's a fiery zealous love, and its growing in intensity. Its goes from my heart and then to my belly, and when it reaches my mouth I can't help but to worship, to kiss Him with the praise of my lips. His love has become this consuming fire, and I'm lost in it. And more and more each day, not looking back at the past, I'm looking full-speed ahead, recognizing this is what I've been called to. This is my high calling. This is what I was created for.
As a lover of Jesus since the age of seventeen, I never really grasped the reality of His love quite like I am now. Many times I felt like I needed to do more. To somehow earn His love by doing good things, being a nice person, and reading the Bible. And though I never directly said it, my actions indirectly performed these tasks out of obligation rather than out of desire. In a lot of ways I thought if I read my Bible enough, treated people with enough kindness and stayed away from sinful things then maybe He would love me more and bring favor in my life. I somehow thought my obligation to christian duty would make me an acceptable sacrifice. My life became more about fulfilling the Great Commission in order to fulfill the Great Commandment. Then it hit me hard when there was a season in my life where God stripped me of everything. He asked my husband and I to lay down all ministry, all commitments for a season. And everything that I used to define my worth by was removed....in an instant.
We're now 2 years out of that season and its been a completely new, fresh and wholesome year for us. God has done a lot of healing. And we've decided it was better to obey than to choose to live the way we thought we should live. It's been a tremendously hard year, but extremely victorious as well. I would dare to call it our year of jubilee. Jesus has truly made His love more real to me than I have ever ever known before in my walk with Him.
And as I meditated on His goodness, I whispered to Him, "Lord, I could do this forever." I was speaking in reference to being in His presence. Worshipping and praying, never stopping, ever increasing in my life. And He responded, "then do it forever." {sigh} Then revelation came like an unstoppable force, like a mighty river that could not be contained - oh my Lord! I was meant to do this forever! It would be out of this love that I fulfill your joy! It would be out of this love that I receive my destiny! It would be out of this love that I touch the nations. The switch came. I no longer tried to strive to accomplish His Word in my life. I would love Him and in His presence I would thrive in what He has called me to! It's through His love for us and our love for Him (great commandment) that we fulfill the great commission. (It's never the other way around.)
"May the people praise You, O God; may all the peoples praise You. Then the land will yield its harvest, and God, our God, will bless us. God will bless us, and all the ends of the earth will fear Him. " (Psalm 67:5-7)
"The largest global harvest in history will come directly on the heels of the extravagant sound of love, adoration, and praise that is released form the blazing Bride.......We are going to witness firsthand the beautiful correlation between the fire ignited in our hearts and the release of the fragrance and aroma of Christ on the earth. " Fire and Fragrance by Sean Feucht
