Worship Angels

Every morning the girls and I worship together before we begin school. 

This week I was thoroughly blessed by Abby and Issy in their faith. 

They dressed up and swooped in with the Spirit and worshipped their hearts out. 

They Called themselves the Angel of Fire and the Angel of Love. 

It wasn't long after that Super Angel had to show up on the scene!

We giggled, worshipped, and totally were blasted with the presence of God. It was marvelous. These girls never cease to amaze me. Their faith is so pure and raw.

Here they are flying away in the wind. So much good energy! We were getting so filled with joy!

And the Angels made sure to visit all the babies :-)

It was truly a beautiful place- watching your children worship, in free expression. I could just picture the delight on Jesus' face. How it brought Him such pleasure!

Dance, worship, believe. Because I'm sure we entertained Angels today.....

surrender to love

It’s not just one way with the Lord.

In the church we like to preach there's only one way. Yes, Jesus is THE WAY. And it is ONLY through Him that truth comes. Where things get a little confusing, and vision some what clouded, is when we begin to idolize one way the Lord speaks, or one way the Lord moves, or one way the Lord accomplishes something. We idolize an idea of God, rather than falling in love with Jesus Himself. When there is a move of the Holy Spirit, we leave changed. But when we try to replicate it just because that is how God moved before, it doesn't always produce the same fruit. He is always doing something new, in a new way. Getting comfortable in the works of God without life-giving relationship leads to religion.  Religion without relationship leads to bondage. It's never one way with the Lord because the basis of all that He does is on ONE THING: intimacy with Him. RELATIONSHIP. So as much as our ideas about tithing, ideas about membership in our churches, ideas about how a worship service should be run, ideas about theology, ideas about what is right or what is wrong….comes this very dichotomy: NONE OF IT MATTERS OUTSIDE OF RELATIONSHIP. You see I’m the best pretender of them all.  I’ve become great at pretending I’m an awesome spiritual person by proving I can live right. I can pretend to hear the voice of God by only regurgitating theological information that has been taught to me in the past. I can easily look like I have it all together when, spiritually, I may be falling apart. But am I falling more in love with an idea of God, more than I am falling madly in love with Jesus Himself? What leads me to do what I do? Did Jesus tell me to do, say, or live the way I have chosen to today? Do I worship Him because of duty? Do I worship Him out of discipline? Or do I worship Him out of delight? What is my driving force? Does loving Him bring me pleasure? I have come to conclude if love is not that driving force, everything else is meaningless.

Yesterday I watched a film that left me completely undone. "Compelled by Love" is a documentary based on the life of Heidi Baker and her impact on the world. Here you have a woman who puts Jesus in physical form. It's obvious she is living, breathing, tangibly loving like Jesus. It’s Him…..in Heidi’s body. I’ve personally never been able to see such a manifestation in a person. You look into her eyes filled with light and all you see is Jesus staring you in the face. I’m not idolizing her, but what I do acknowledge is that her life has been completely surrendered to the love of God. She has given herself over to Jesus 100%, and I can not deny it challenges me to most deepest and darkest parts of my heart. I. am. undone. A couple years ago I read her book, Compelled by Love, which was also a turning point in my walk with the Lord. It was through her life and the revelation of the Beatitudes I was left knowing my life was not my own. That I would “lose my life to find it” (Matthew 10:39). And again, today, all I could meditate on was how much I wanted Him. It’s a fascinating thing. I know the FULLNESS of God lives and moves and has His being in me. I lack no good thing and He has given me all that I need. But somehow there is a paradigm between that Truth and the manifestation of that fullness being lived out. I must come in agreement with that truth, but I must also learn the sweet art of surrendering to the truth. It’s not enough to know. As Believers, we often feel like we know many biblical truths. But is that what leads us to knowing Him? I personally do not think so. It’s surrendering to Truth, to Him. It’s unadulterated, completely abandoned surrender to the journey of falling in love with Him through intimacy. It’s scary. But there is no safer place to be.

If you have some time to give God, may this be a gift to you. Even if you listen in a quiet place for 20 minutes, I am sure it will be a blessing. It was to me.

Living Full

This past year has been full! Full of good things, yet, I find myself sweetly anticipating this much needed break from the rest of the world. You see, every year I sit and evaluate my past year: the decisions I've made, the dreams I put to motion, the responsibilities I carried, my walk as wife, mother, and daughter of God. Did I live well? Did I live full? Did I live in constant joy and peace? What was challenging in 2015? What was empowering? I take a time of reflection before entering the new year so that I can set new goals, continuing to move forward in my dreams, and to find grace in what this next year may hold for me. It's a time of planning, but its also a time of vulnerability - because I must zero in on my own heart and the challenges it faces (in the life I have chosen to live) and to choose to live according to the Spirit. This requires me to shut off the rest of the world (and the voice of reason) so I can really be sensitive to the Holy Spirit. Often times this incorporates some sort of fast, so that I can practice the habit of surrender and humility. Fasting always puts my heart in a place where I'm inclined to lean, listen, and trust just a bit more. But this year I felt led to fast differently. As a mother to 5 (all under the age of 8), homeschooling and being a home-maker, while caring for the needs of my husband, and those whom I am in relationship with, along with the desires that are in my own heart to tackle, I realize that Grace comes with a name, and His name is Jesus. And if I am to move forward in all He has for me, living full (this means without complaining, without bitterness and without anxiety) in the joy, the love, and the richness of His goodness, I must be willing to lay down some things. Why do we fight so hard to give up control when our hearts ache so long to do so? I ask myself this often. I KNOW He is the SOURCE of every good and great thing, yet I can struggle so hard to release control over my own life. So as I enter 2016, I am fasting every external voice that has the [POTENTIAL] to influence my life negatively. This sounds simple right? But its not as simple as I thought. I began to explore all the external things that could potentially influence my thoughts negatively. And I realized that the potential for that is happening everywhere. I have to give up facebook, Instagram (what if there' a picture that causes jealousy, envy, or coveting???), Netflix, movies, alcohol. I don't think any of these are bad or wrong! So hear my heart. But they do have the "power of influence" and for principle alone, I knew it was something God was calling me to in this next season. I'm giving him 40 days. My hope and desire is that God will give me strategy, fresh breath on all these areas that play a role in my life, including how to live day to day with my family and how to make sure they are getting the best "Me" they could get. The best Me comes from the Holy Spirit and the joy, passion, and love that He gives me to live life with them.

This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words. For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him? Even so the thoughts of God no one knows except the Spirit of God. [So if we want to know the thoughts, heart and wisdom of the Holy Spirit, we must activate Him within us. In order to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit, we must also silence its opposing voice, the voice of the world, the voice of reason.] Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God, [all that we desire, every good gift, everything we need is free. It is a gift given to us by the Spirit of God. Don't we want to know the things given freely to us by the Holy Spirit?]  But a natural man does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually appraised. But he who is spiritual evaluates all things, yet he himself is appraised by no one. For WHO HAS KNOWN THE MIND OF THE LORD, THAT HE WILL INSTRUCT HIM? But we have the mind of Christ.

1 Corinthians 2:13-16

I am actually excited to fast from all media. I am in great anticipation to know, see, and understand the gift of God on my life. We all have been given the gift of life - and we are meant to enjoy it! The curse has been broken. No more sweat. No more striving. No more stress or worry. No more living oppressed by the responsibilities of life. Life doesn't have to steal from us. Rather it's there to be a blessing. It can bring us overwhelming joy, peace that transcends our own human reason, fulfillment and happiness that money can not provide. Jesus has a gift for us if we make ourselves available to receive it. I want it.

I'm not too keen on making New Years resolutions. But I'm all about dreaming big and setting goals to get to where you want to be. Dreams come with a cost. Every year is a step closer to living my dreams out fully. So what I am committed to in 2016, is a year living full - full of grace, full of peace, full of contentment, full of love, full of every good thing, full of blessing upon blessing, and being able to recognize it all, always being filled with thankfulness. We must protect our hearts from anything less. It is God's pleasure to see us blessed, and to know it.

The best things in life can not be bought. They are simply lived.

Live full for 2016!

what is love?

What is 1 Corinthians 13 really saying?!

1 Corinthians 13 is the most commonly known verse about love, and is the most popular verse chosen at wedding ceremonies. And though the Church as a whole as seen this love chapter through the lens of marriage, it wasn't written with that being the only regard. Paul originally wrote them to address a specific situation which many of us today miss.  Paul was addressing the appropriate use of spiritual gifts to a body of believers that was divided on many issues. Above all, love was what Paul was compelling the Church to do. It wasn't only something married couples were called to, but we as a Church whole are called to walk....above everything.

Here are some of Peterson's (author of The MESSAGE translation) thoughts and my own together. Its piercing to read this in context, and absolutely life changing to read it as one who is called to walk in love (equivalent to walking by the Spirit).

If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God’s Word with power and authority, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain and simple, and if I have faith that moves mountains, but have not love I am of no value. (Not your worth value, but what you so has no value.)  If I give everything I own to the poor and die as a martyr, but I die without loving, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up. It will not fail you ever! It supersedes all things, in every situation, in every circumstance.

Love cares more for others than for self. It chooses to be selfless even when you feel taken advantage of.Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut; its not out to prove something. It is not competitive, but allows others to rise above themselves.Doesn’t have a swelled head and is not arrogant or haughty. It doesn't pretend to always have all the answers.Doesn’t force itself on others, it is sincere, considerate, and slow to  accuse.Love isn’t always “me first,”and it doesn’t fly off the handle. Love learns self-control and knows when to ask for forgiveness. Love doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, or measure one's sin to another.Love doesn’t revel when others grovel, or say "I told you so" in someone's mistake. It doesn't condemn, but brings life.Love takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, and makes it ok to make mistakes, learn and then grow.Love puts up with anything, even when you may be hurting. It pursues even when you feel betrayed.Love doesn't put trust in man, but trusts God always,Always looking for the best,Never looking back,But continues to go to the end. Love is the eternal treasure that cannot be taken from you and continues to grow into all eternity. 

Love never dies. Self-help and motivational speeches will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes (the unknown) will be canceled. And what will be left is love.

And isn't this what Christ did for us? When you examine the life of Jesus, He fulfilled all these things! He was the beautiful example of Love. If we need someone to lead by example, He is it! And its because of His grace that we can love the way He did. And He still loves this way, but now its through us. Let's be compelled to love today.

naturally supernatural

I have often heard men (and women) from the pulpit talk about how they observe miracles happening in third-world countries, but there seems to be none happening in America. Then they usually make conclusions based on that observation by saying, "it must be that the third-world demands the miraculous while Americans have other avenues such as doctors, medicine, counseling, education, etc.) Though this answer may be one part in searching out reasons why Believers are not experiencing supernatural signs, wonders, and miracles everyday, I do not believe it is the very reason. In fact, contrary to what many say, American believers ARE experiencing the supernatural daily, but you will need to just search a little harder on where these men and women are, and what communities are embracing this aspect of supernatural life. I think the difference lies in what we believe.

For someone who first goes to his doctor for medicine to heal his sickness before trusting and seeking God, this ultimately is rooted in what the man believes about God and about himself. It doesn't make it wrong. It just means we can figure out what we believe but how we respond and live life. There are indirect beliefs we have that we don't even know we have, but our actions can clearly show us what is in our heart. From my own experience of being a part of global missions around the world, several different believing communities, and hearing many many teachers in the Body of Christ teach, how we live our life is a direct result of what we believe. Almost every community that embraces the grace message of the mystic union we have we Jesus (John 17), usually walks in some aspect of the supernatural. In fact, its then the supernatural becomes our natural, and the abnormal our normal, the radical our life. It is then it becomes the way of life.

The Greek word for spiritual gift is charisma, which is derived from the Greek word charis, which means grace. It could be better translated that we have been given spiritual graces, rather than spiritual gifts. Gifts imply a sense of personal entitlement, while grace implies the concept of love and mercy given to us by nothing of our own effort. Why do we care? While many people forbid the demonstration of the "gifts" of the Spirit, it is my conviction that to deny the gifts of the Spirit is to deny the same source of Grace (as a person) that is responsible for reconciling humanity. If you cannot find spiritual relevance for daily demonstrating the graces of the Spirit, which Jesus defined would heal the sick, raise the dead, and deliver the oppressed of demons, I would question the premise of what you might understand the fullness of the grace of God to be.

For many of us we looked at grace as being the unmerited favor that allowed us to follow the law (Old Covenant). We rarely see grace as the person the Christ, we usually see it as the outcome of Christ's death and resurrection. But through the Grace of God, which is Jesus Himself, we have been crucified of the flesh so that HE MAY LIVE! Grace allow us to enter into a new, and better covenant than before (Hebrews 8:6). "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." (Galatians 2:20) For many of us as believers we choose to not walk in the supernatural because of fear (fear of failure, fear of the outcome, fear of people, fear of rejection or even fear of self- insecurity). And fear is the result of living under an Old Covenant mentality. Sometimes we don't even realize what we believe until we are confronted with it in our own actions. Under grace and love, there is no fear anymore. Jesus died, so that we may live, more importantly, He may live through us. When we walk in the reality that Christ is breathing, actively participating living life through us, we no longer fear the supernatural. The supernatural was never based (same as grace) on what we do. Its the outcome of walking in who we are! When we walk in our truest nature (which was His intent from the beginning) as the fullness of God living in us, we can not help but walk in the supernatural. It will be the inevitable. 

If your desiring to be naturally supernatural, begin to evaluate what you really believe. How do you view yourself? How do you view God? Do you see the nature of Jesus and the nature of God different from one another? If you do this could reveal a dual belief system. For years, we take what has been passed down and taught to us as truth without challenging it. But we see, even around the world, when a new believer comes to the Lord without any aid but the Spirit of God and their Bible, they have a greater truth of the grace of God than any "churched" person I've met. We must be willing to be challenged in this area, especially for the American Christian Church. The face of Western Christianity is changing. And as believers we have to make choices to be ok with learning that maybe we don't know everything. Maybe there is something about my life that could be more. Why settle? Why be mediocre? Why be a nominal Christian when you can walk in so much more!? 

what love looks like

Joshua Tongol's been here teaching our community on visualization and the power of our mind! I'm like blown away here! I can not believe how much of the supernatural REALLY is suppose to be EASY, SIMPLE and FUN!

So ever since Tongol taught on visualization and the power of the mind I've literally just been thinking positive....about myself, about every aspect of life. It's making a huge difference as a mother, and even better in the gym! I've been speaking words of life over myself that have made me accomplish more in my day! It's nuts. In addition to that I had two accounts and one healing in the last two days that visualization aided in bringing things to pass. They were so small but so significant for me.

Yesterday, brandon and I ordered a dessert, and by faith I just said she's gonna bring us two orders (we only ordered one) and then I visualized it in my mind, her bringing us two orders of baklava. When she brought the dessert over, one for us to eat then, and then a SECOND one wrapped to go!!!! And we didn't have to pay for it...just being blessed with it! 

The Great and Beautiful Commandment

The second time was when I went to the YMCA today. Parking is always awful for me and then trying to get three little ones to follow me is harder. So today I visualized a parking spot right in front of the doors, and BEHOLD there it was when I arrived....right in front of the doors! It was blowing my mind! THEN, this is the BEST part.

I see a woman in the locker room who is in obvious pain. She's got exaggerated breathing, frustrated sighing, walking as in pain, getting dressed very slowly. As I'm getting ready I just sense The Lord so I walk up to her and ask if she wants to be healed. She asks me, "are you into alternative medicine." And I'm like, "we'll yes I am! Can I heal you?" And she says, "absolutely!" This women later tells me she has had cancer three times, fiber maloscia (spelling?), lots of stress, arthritis, and joints all a mess. she walks me over to a private area and I just begin to touch areas of her body and say IT IS DONE! I ask her to VISUALIZE with me that she is completely healed until she feels the reality of it. No pain, walking straight, breathing easy, etc . She said she felt electricity come out of my hands and felt fire every where I touched. And BAM, HEALED!!! She was walking different, bending different, and she had peace all over here. I told her that Jesus was the fire and electricity coming out of me.So now she wants to come and worship with us all on Thursdays! Here's the crazy catch! She afterwards tells me she is a witch and her husband is a transsexual and then asks me "does that matter?" I almost broke in tears of joy! Seriously. I said NO! We love you! Come and worship with us. Then she says, I know it's Jesus who healed me. I want to give you my contact info! Needless to say, I am smoked by the goodness of God today! I had love that couldn't be contained.....I never felt before! Jesus IS real! Come on!

What if we love people the way God loves them? How much more can we change the world by loving others into the truth of His love and grace! I challenge us to love like He loves.

City to City Revival

Being a disciple

And He called the twelve together, and gave them power and authority over all the demons and to heal diseases. And He sent them out to proclaim the kingdom of God and to perform healing. And He said to them, "Take nothing for your journey, neither a staff, nor a bag, nor bread, nor money; and do not even have two tunics apiece. Whatever house you enter, stay there until you leave that city. And as for those who do not receive you, as you go out from that city, shake the dust off your feet as a testimony against them." Departing, they began going throughout the villages, preaching the gospel and healing everywhere. (Luke 9:1-6 NASB)

What if we did this? I'm being completely honest when I say I haven't seen one individual (in America anyways) who lives this way. I don't live this way. And I know there are reasonable and practical excuses why I can't live this way....like you have a family, there's cultural differences from then and now, or even others saying its the principal, theoretical application....is not literal. But I can't get passed the fact when Jesus spoke it to His disciples, He wasn't being theoretical, he was being literal. He asked this because He knew it would take faith for one to live like this. And it was the measure of their faith that would take the gospel to the world. And it was their measure of faith that they walked out healing the sick. I can't help that the fact they were walking this radical and people getting healed didn't have something to do with each other. There is something about living radically that builds your faith. There was no dependence on self in Luke 9..... In fact being a disciple meant the exact opposite. Being a disciple meant dependence on Him....and this trust was tried and proven when the disciples had nothing.....at that point, trusting God was the only thing they did have.

I'm not saying I'm gonna go do this now, leave my family with nothing and not provide for them. There is a season for everything, and part of being a mother to my children is selflessly providing for them. Some must trust in the provision, while others are the means of that provision. It's important to know what season your in. But I can't help but be challenged with the principles of Luke 9. Abandoning self for the gospel is the reality of the life of a true disciple. What does that look like for us? I think it's so counter-culture that our identity can't be in outer things, not even in the fact that we are American. It's certainly a challenging thing. This is why Paul said, "I die daily." He understood what the cost was to be a disciple of Jesus. He didn't die to himself because he wanted to fulfill Christian duty...he did it because he understood the message of the gospel. He understood Jesus wanted all of Him, just like He gave to us.

What is a disciple to you?

Happy New Year!

....and I mean that! Honestly, there were moments in this last year that I felt so pressed, so burned, so tired. So, with excitement, the beginning of this new year marks a comforting change for me.

When it comes to my own struggles or challenges I tend to be a more quiet reserved person. So, for many, it could be surprising that I would even admit that this year wasn't easy for me. Of course, I also had many highlights from this year. Most changed my life and will be a bookmarking highlight I will remember for the REST of my life. Even in the mist of some incredibly low points, I also had life-changing high points this year.

Damascus Gate into Jerusalem!

I spent the beginning of this year in Israel with my amazing husband, Sean Feucht, and some other Burn 24-7 fam. The trip was amazing! ...life changing! Israel marked me forever, with a new passion and a zeal for the things of God. I can not trade that in for the world! I'm thankful for beginning this past year strong, encouraged, blossoming into the person I was created to be. I needed that for what was up ahead for me and my family.

When I look at this past year I am truly amazed! I'm not just amazed, I'm literally in WONDER!

Here is a quick look:

- Traveled everywhere bringing GOOD NEWS!: Israel, Ireland, all over the U.S.: Harrisburg and Philidephia PA, Detroit MI, Kansas City MO, San Franscisco CA, Austin TX, Salem MA, Washington D.C., and all over New York!

Burn 24-7 Ireland Crew!

 

Brandon's pinning ceremony

- Pioneered a house church, finishing the garage and turned it into an epic worship center! ...and taking more of an assertive role in discipling others.

- Mobilized Burn 24-7's on college campuses in Rochester, NY in conjunction to continuing to meet the last weekend of every month for 12 hours of non-stop worship and prayer.
 

- Brandon finished and graduated school in registered nursing!

- Spoke and lead worship with Syracuse Women's Aglow

Burn Leadership Summit

 

- Took all our Burn leadership on a summit and discipleship retreat.

 

- Was able to partner in worship with our first prophetic conference in Mercy, NY.

 

- Partnered with Burn Buffalo and Burn Syracuse.

Live CD Recording

- Finished and produced our FIRST worship album!

 

Needless to say, this year has been eventful, busy and fruitful! For that, I count the blessings of this pass year with the Lord with such gratitude in my heart! He has truly proved His faithfulness over and over again! And He doesn't need to or even have to...but He does, just because He WANTS to! His love is over-whelming and I wouldn't be who I am today a part from that Truth.

But without challenges, there are no victories. And without struggles, there is no conquering. And without sorrow, there is no rejoicing. And though the fruifulness of this year is something to rejoice over, it was also one of my most sorrowful years. In the process of building community and pursuing the heart of God for people, the Lord has been teaching me so much pertaining to love and forgiveness, and what it really means to lay your life down for your friend. In the process, I had many heartaches this year. The Lord has been teaching me how to deal with offenses in a healthy way and how to trust Him in every friendship. True friendship is risky. It requires all of our heart. It's easy in the process of our past experiences to build walls around our heart to protect ourselves, but the Lord broke these walls in my heart for the good.....so that I could truly know what it means to love my brother...my sister....through the most toughest circumstances.

In addition to growing in this, the Lord has also been challenging me to give everything for the sake of the gospel....including my own home. Because we are a house church we have {high} traffic in our home all the time. And though many have tried to convince us of doing things differently, we just can't. We don't open our home because we feel like its good Christian duty, or we score brownie points with Jesus. We do it because the gospel is about giving, serving and loving. We want to be an expression of all that the gospel is. In the process I have learned so much about what it means to give cheerfully. Just in this past year alone our home as been infested with {thousands} of flies and maggots, mice, and roaches (on two seperate occassions). The cleaning, the bathroom supplies, the cleaning, the food, the cleaning, the long nights, the cleaning, the amount of coffee, ...oh, and the cleaning. ;-) I'm venting (only a little). But the Lord challenged me, because everytime I scrub a toilet, a spilled drink, or cleaning out a basket that someone threw their food in thinking it was trash, I remember that this is worship. This is being the aroma of Christ to those who are both saved and to those who are not. I'm am mother in the Kingdom, just as I am in the physical. This is an honor.

This year has also been one of the hardest years for me physically. I had an infection in my teeth the first part of the year. When asked to get a root canal I felt like the Lord wanted me to trust him and not proceed. In return, he healed me :) In the Spring when we were in California, I broke my ankle....really bad. I wasn't able to walk for 9 weeks. I remember trying to carry my 6 month old baby on all fours while dragging myself across the living room floor. I couldn't even cook for my family. And because my husband was in full-time school and working I had little help. I'm so thankful for those in our community that did sacrifice their time by taking me to appointments, keeping me company, bringing me a meal, or just taking the girls outside to play. My mother in law came the latter part of it and I was so thankful. There were many tears in this season and I am forever thankful for those who came and served my family during it all.

 

 

This leads me to the hardest  of things....having my husband gone all the time. I'm so proud of him and what he did while he was in school. It wasn't easy, for either of us. He gave more than he was able because of the grace of God on His life. I personally hate when people say "....well...ya know. God only gives you what you can handle." That's a bunch of hoax if you ask me, and unbiblical. In fact, I think we're created for immortality and He DOES give us more than we can handle just so He can prove His faithfulness, His POWER and His supernatural grace in us! But I would be lying if I said it was always hunky dorey. There were many days I struggled. I wanted help with our girls. We only had one vehicle, so there were other days I would just crave getting out of the house. And because he wasn't available to help with the admin gear for the house church, Burn 24-7 or City to City, I spent a lot of time trying to keep up with admin stuff in addition to being with the children, which by the way was a full time job in and of itself. Many times I felt congested by responsibilities and simply trying to survive. I know thats not what God wanted for me, so I would spend much of my time with the Lord basking in His presence, meditating and receiving fresh supernatural strength. I didn't feel swamped all the time. In fact, it was during this season I did a longated fast where precious hours and memorable experiences were made with the Lord in the morning before my children would even awake. Still, priceless.....and I wouldn't trade it for the most difficult of seasons.

 

Our family pics of 2012

So much has changed just in this past week alone. And something I have observed as well is the growth in my children. Abigail (who just turned 4) has a remarkable relationship with the Lord. She hears Him, dreams with Him, sings to Him. The beauty blossoming out of her is absolutely breath-taking! And its not my doing! She just told me the other day that Jesus gave her a new tongue! Amazing! The Lord is simply calling them, each by name, and they are responding! Its wonderful! Israel (who turns 3 this month) loves to dance for Him. I mean, she can't stop! And there is such adandonment on her when she dances. Arista (whose 17 months) is a presence junkie! She loves worship and she literally becomes alive when we worship together! This is a mystery! Our family has been marked this season. And though difficult and challenging, I am forever changed by its mark.....in a good way. Brandon is a new man....He is even more true to his word, more in love with His Beloved, more in love with people, more selfless, more compassionate, less self-serving, more merciful and when I look at him I literally see the eyes of my Savior. He is my hero. He was always encouraging me, always affirming me, always telling me how amazing I am. As my cheerleader, it was because of his love that I knew we would make it.....and we would make it out strong. Even when we would hear about people spreading rumors, or making presumptious about us as a couple or even as a ministry....he would always would shake the dust off. He never let it get to him. He was an inspiration.

Thursday night Covenant Home Community Church

And to all our Burn fam, and our Covenant Home community, you are a gift from God to us. Thank you for all your love, your support, your encouraging words to us. When we always needed it most, you pushed us to keep going. I am forever grateful for good, faithful friends. They are priceless gifts that are rarer than the finest gems. When you find them, appreciate 'em, thank God for them, and let them know you value them. This has truly been a year of turning for us and I am in tears of joy for the lasting and eternal fruit that was brought out in this past year.

With that, Happy New Year - to a fresh year of experiencing and knowing God, and to the merry new wine that we get to drink every day in it! This year is about not looking back. Once we put our hand to the plow, we don't look back, we only move forward! This is what it means to be a disciple. This is what it means to be a follower of Jesus. Lets embark on this year together with Him!

Endless Love,
Brandon and Crystal J

A different way to love



We are really asking the Holy Spirit how is the best way to be living, breathing Christ in the earth today. This has been an extremely hard (and beyond) way of living. Where we personally been at is studying, reflecting, and going deep into the life of Christ in the gospels and allowing our lives to reflect the same thing. What a challenge in every way. The cost is high and the sacrifice is great.

Chicago Gay Pride Parade

The deeper we minister to own convictions, it seems the more conflict we run into, and its not from unbelieving folks. This is probably where many different Christians disagree, which is ok. Not everyone will see eye to eye, but working together despite it speaks great volumes in the least. When we observe the life of Jesus, the only ones he ever rebuked were religious people, the believing people of that day. But when I look at how he ministered to the lost it was really different. I'm not speaking about a message of tolerance or intolerance, because He would tell people to stop from sinning. But the love we observed was how He ate, He drank, He went into their (sinners, tax collectors, adulterers) homes. He loved them where they were at. And when he was confronted by the pharisees about his heretic acts, he said "is it not the sick who need a doctor?"

There's two problems we have found in the Church when ministering to the lost. The first is, the lost dont want to listen to our message of "intolerance" because they feel hated, judged and misunderstood by us. (Truth is, many of us as believers have looked to the lost as projects and not people). They indirectly hate us and have already closed their hearts to our message. What if we actually came to people like Jesus did with the Samaritan women, gave them a life reading and then told them the way to true life? There is a huge brokenness and disconnect from the Church and the lost. We believe in order to even get them to a place where they can receive our message, we must be willing to love them where they're at. The "I'm Sorry" shirts, shouldn't be mis-read. The man who started that was not a tolerant man. He didn't agree with homosexuality (like so many churches are allowing these days) but he was looking for a solution. He was looking for the mending of broken hearts to the spirit of Christ, which is always LOVE. The man who started it was accused by every religious figure about his tolerance, but when you read his story you will find that it was not the spirit he was operating under. He was truly a man looking for a reconcilation, for a solution......and we need one, really bad.

The second problem we have found is that many Christians (who preach an intolerance message) do NOT actually have friends that are lost. Most believers will tell you that homosexuality shouldn't be tolerated and when we ask them if they have a homosexual friend, most do not. Were not talking about you know someone who is gay, or you have a relative who is gay. We're talking about having a friend, someone you hang out with, have gotten to know, gotten to appreciate in your life. The problem lies in that we would rather preach intolerance then actually get to know these individuals, with hearts, with minds, with feelings. They believe their beliefs are as real as our own. So how do we become all things to all men without compromising the message? Do we have a meal, hang out, get to know these individuals the way Jesus did before we cast the stone? By putting love on first, by word and action, the other stuff will follow. I DO NOT believe a message of love is tolerance. I DO believe that has been the fall of the Church in this case. But I also believe we need to put on love and the spirit of reconcilation and begin reconciling people's heart to the love of Christ. This will come in asking for forgiveness in where we have erred. And we have; we have judged, condemned and even told people they are not loved by God for their lifestyles. Maybe not us personally, but we need a man who will stand in the gap for such self-righteous accusations. Who is the accuser of the brethren but the devil himself. I am a woman that is not without sin and I cannot cast a stone at another because of it.

 I was hestitant to share all that, but I felt it was important that you hear our heart in that. To judge a group by saying they are being over-zealous and mis-led is a big accusation. But that is what is happening with the group of "I'm Sorry" believers at different gay pride events. And I can tell you that if we were to ever do something similar there would have been a lot of thought, a lot of prayer and a lot of biblical confirmation to go along with us when we make a decision like that. I understand that not every Christian is going to agree on certain things, but my hope is that honor would still be among believers even when they don't agree. We can't sustain new wine in a old wineskin. We believe, in this time and hour, God is doing a new thing if we will let him. We're going to have to think outside the box and try different things if we want to truly reach the lost.

What do you think? What do you think it would look like loving people the way Jesus did?

happy are the helpless

I recently have been reading the Sermon on the Mount, over and over and over and over again. And then when I think I’m moving on, I read it again. The truth is, there is so much in the Sermon on the Mount that I’m becoming overwhelmed by revelation and wrecked by its empowering Truth! I’m convinced it is one of the greatest messages preached in all of history, probably because Jesus was the one giving it! Everyone who knows me well knows one of our greatest passions is to see believers walk into their identity. Want victory? Identity. Want freedom? Identity. Want truth? Identity. Want more to know your purpose? Identity.  This is why I want to share some of the things that have rocked me and  ruined me forever. I found the teachings of Jesus to be the stake  I personally needed, entering into the reality of who I am called to be. I believe the Beatitudes are the KEY for a believer’s walk to move from “striving” to “thriving” in their identity in Jesus Christ.

I want to start by quoting Heidi Baker, a full-time missionary to Mozambique, in her book Compelled by Love, “Believe it or not, our lives are much easier than yours. You see, where I live they are sick and hurting; and so they come and give their lives to Jesus by the hundreds every week around the country. But in your nation, your poor do not know they are poor, and your sick do not really know they are sick unless they are dying of a disease and no one can help them. They look confident, and they appear as if they are altogether. But maybe they are not. So your job is a lot harder than ours.”

Since America was young we were taught to be independent and self-sufficient. For a large portion of us that grew up middle-class, we learned from our youth that America is about equality, fairness and declaring and living out our rights as human beings. We were taught well how to be worth something in society by educating ourselves, pursuing a good standing career, and keeping things sustainable so we can build the dream of the big house, the happy family, the toys to keep life fun and looking good. I recently came to a wall in my own ideologies of what I believed “happiness” looked like. You see, unless I become “poor in spirit” nothing this world has will ever satisfy me. In fact, many of these things fight for my heart. Why is it hard for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven?

"Blessed are the poor in Spirit for theirs in the Kingdom of Heaven...." Matthew 5:3

“Why does the Kingdom break forth in such power among the poor here in Mozambique? It’s because the poor rely on each other. They need each other. They live in a community of interdependence. They have to share with each other just to survive. Those who have much are often quick to accumulate and slow to give away. They often give without remembering; they receive without forgetting. The poor are truly rich for the simplicity of their devotion.” (Heidi Baker’s Compelled by Love)

Does selling everything and living simple make you poor in Spirit?  No, but there is certainly something to be applied here. It is the condition of the heart, but we must become like those who are physically poor in the same manner in our hearts.

The Greek word for “poor” is ‘Ptochos‘,  and it literally means” having nothing, reduced to begging, like a beggar, totally broke”.  Just as the poor understand they cannot survive without the one who will give to them, so we must come to the understanding in our hearts that Jesus is the Giver of true life.  Because the word "poor" is a term that is not physically poor, but is to be poor in spirit, likewise it is not saying we need to beg God, but to become "like a beggar. Being poor in spirit means we are desperate for God, recognizing our complete need for Jesus. We don’t live in the “whatever”. We live in the constant devotion and pursuit of all that He is. We are hungry for it and nothing will stop us from this obsession.  This is BIG! Think about it! Jesus is saying if He becomes our EVERYTHING, He will give us EVERYTHING! The Kingdom of Heaven is freely given to those who will freely receive. If we do not recognize are need, we do not receive.

This is the heartbeat of what makes God tick.  They are attributes that Holy Spirit is drawn to.  God has a lot of workers but he has few lovers.  Being poor in Spirit would be hearing God and obeying. When a poor person asks you for something they ask humbly and they are not afraid to ask because they will die without it. My heart must say, “Lord, I will die without knowing you, seeing you, touching you! I am so hungry for you! I am in need of your love, your life and your constant supernatural presence!” I believe what it means to be poor in spirit is complete dependence on Him alone. It certainly goes against the grain of what we were taught and what our nature is, but I am convinced it is the ONLY way to live.

 I leave you with the words of Mother Theresa,

“Hungry for love,  He looks at you.
Thirsty for kindness, He begs from you.
Naked for loyalty, He hopes in you.
Sick and imprisoned for friendship, He wants from you.
Will you be that one to Him?”

What are your thoughts? What do you think it means to be poor in spirit?

Some more verses for thought:

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."— Psalm 34:18

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise."— Psalm 51:17

"For this is what the high and lofty One says—he who lives forever, whose name is holy: 'I live in a high and holy place, but also with him who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite."— Isaiah 57:15

This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word.— Isaiah 66:2

Also He spoke this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others: Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, "God, I thank You that I am not like other men—extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I possess." And the tax collector, standing afar off, would not so much as raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, "God, be merciful to me a sinner!" I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.— Luke 18:9-14

why I'm done playing church

because Jesus is so much better.

It doesn't mean I'm not going to go to Sunday morning worship. It doesn't mean I'm backsliden and forsaking the assembling of believers. It doesn't mean there is no value in pulpit preaching. It has its place. It has its fruit.

What I'm talking about goes beyond title, beyond business of a "ministry", beyond precedented times of prayer and worship. There's a voice calling us out to go deeper, to search wider, to seek truth outside the box and its echoing the Church of Acts 2. To not go to church, but to BE the chur

ch.

I love my fellow brothers and sisters. Hear my heart in this, less we harden our hearts like the religious people in the days of Jesus. Isn't it interesting that we rebuke and harrass the heart behind the Pharisees but fail to see it in ourselves as well? For me, the sobering reality has been that Jesus literally broke every religious rule, jurisdiction and order of that day!

What would each of our lives look like if we embraced every aspect of the life of Jesus? Did Jesus say He gave Himself partially to the Church? Did the Bridegroom say His Bride would only be half His? No. And as ridiculous as it sounds we have a large generation of people not walking out the reality that they have been made ONE with Jesus, and that He has given us His whole self without restraint! We have become a people coping with their demons rather than being delivered from them because we fear our sin more than we fear God. We are trying to empress people in the four walls of what we call "church", rather than loving God first.

Oh Church! We were called to so much more! Relevency cannot hold you. Talented musicians will not sustain you. We teach what we know but we can only impart WHO WE ARE. Programs will bring people but they may not bring the presence. Where is the presence? Where is the presence? Where is the presence?

I've commited my soul to the Lord. All my days are fashioned by Him. Whether in my home, in the secret place, or whether amidst a congregation before man, my heart will be rendered to the Lord. I will radically love, willingly obey and freely walk in the liberated life Jesus gave me. Did He not die for nothing that we still be entrapped by that man of old, that spirit of religion?

Come. Come join the rollercoaster of freedom. Its so much better to Be His. You were not built by man's hands. You were made for His glory. Be free to be His glory. Be ALL His. You don't have to be afraid. Were all wanting something real. We all want Him. Its sometimes hard to let go into the unknown. But He's saying its ok. Its ok my Love. I've given all that I am so you could do so.

Detriot!!!

This blog is called Jackel Journeys, but I feel I have been doing a very poor job keeping up with all the journeying we've been doing. Traveling a lot is an under statement for the past few months. Its been a lot of fun, along with challenging as well. We have been EXTREMELY thankful for our Burn Tribe, where a consistent group of core people are committed to seeing people hearts ignite with a firey love for the Lord and a passion for His presence.

~ Some of our Burn Fam ~

The two oldest girls have only gone a half of the trips, while the baby, Arista, has been on all them. By the time we hit January, when we go to Israel, she would have been on 5 missions' trips since being born (she's only 4 months old!). There is an incredible amount of grace upon our lives right now to obey God with everything we have.

So I'm committed to staying connected in this blog with our travels. The more we've been connecting with people and seeing others jump on board both physically and in spirit, prayerfully and financially with us, we want to be able to share the experiences, break-throughs, encounters and even challenges we have had along the way. What makes the pilgrimage a glorious journey?! That what this blog is about :^D

Our last trip was DETRIOT, where we went to The CALL and ministered at both Life in Christ Fellowship and Blue Water Christian. Check out what we taught HERE! It's a powerful message and a "now" word for the Body of Christ. In the evening we set ablaze in worship and intercession, desperate for more of His presence and for strategy for God to revive the Blue Water area with His heart and to see complete radical love pouring out of His Bride.

Everywhere we go we are meeting other believers who are praying and seeking God with all they have to see Him move and shake their city for His purpose. It's so encouraging seeing so many like-hearted, like-minded people, seeking after the same things. We even met a young family with three young boys who sold everything, bought an RV, and hit the road as the Lord leads. And they're inspiring other families to do the same! God is not asking for luke-warm, He is asking us for all. I've never seen children talk about Jesus the way these three young boys did! I was inspired, challenged and encouraged all together!

maximize your mornings

So I've recently started something new that I've probably been feeling that I should start while I was pregnant with Arista.

If any you ma's and pa's out there are as busy as I am with three little ones then I'm sure you'll be able to relate to this post! You know you're a mother when showers are commodity, solitude is when your going to the bathroom, and sleep depravation becomes the least of your health concerns. Life demands so much in motherhood. We're the family nurse, teacher, caretaker, cleaning lady, accountant and pastor. Bored with life? Add children to the picture and guantee you'll never get bored again! But in the mist of all that life demands, when does God get HIS time? Is it that God gets put on the back-burner until the children are grown? I dunno, but if my husband decided to do that to me while he took care of the demands of life, I KNOW I would have a LARGE problem with it. But how often do we do that to God?

Simply, when God said we should pray without ceasing I think it meant that it would be as constant as breathing. We stop breathing, we die. We stop praying.....well, we die. One is physical, the other is spiritual. But just because it's simple doesn't mean it's easy. How do we get to a lifestyle where praying becomes like breathing? How do we choose to live by the Spirit and not by the flesh? I am convinced that its my morning hours with the Lord, when the sun is about to rise, that is critical to my day and my lifestyle of breathing prayers.

My voice shall You hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto You, and will look up! Psalm 5:3

What does this mean to me? It's God drawing my heart in the morning hours, before my children awake the dawn, to draw near to Him! And there is a longing in my heart to walk with God. I know I can't be the mother God has called me to be without Him living His life through me. But I found every excuse in the book to not get up any earlier than I was. But then I came across this mom's youtube video and was inspired to action!

So I started getting up a couple hours before my children awake since last Monday. And apart from my Sabbath day, I've done ok. Not all days have worked out as planned but I've certainly seen fruit in my own thoughts and heart during my day, both toward God and my children. So this has inspired me even more to encourage other moms who feel this draw from the Holy Spirit to help them start as well. I'm starting an accountability group on FACEBOOK. So if you're a MOM looking for some extra inspiration in this area I encourage you to join this group! HERE we'll be able to check in during the morning hours, share about how are mornings are going, and share prayer requests with one another. Simply, its a place we can inspire one another to grow into all God has called us to be as mothers. Certainly if you are not a mother, the group is not limited to only moms. Its for ANYONE who wants the encouragement to MAXIMIZE THEIR MORNINGS, so we can consciously choose God first in our day. Let's maximize our mornings together!