a note from my sweetheart

Baby and I had a rough night last night, pretty much consisting of Arista not wanting to sleep AT ALL. Right around 6AM I had a break-down from the lack of sleep. So I've been a little lethargic jumping into my day. But I just received this note from my husband and I wanted to share it because it sweetly enriched my day! I feel strengthened and encouraged. In sharing it I too will hope you will be inspired. That even though sometimes our little ones cannot communicate how much our love means to them, that what we give matters. That you too are called to be a Proverbs 31 woman and to recognize that what you do everyday makes a difference.

"Sweetheart!

Want to tell you I love you this morning. You mean the world to me. I'm blessed, honored, and favored to have you as my wife and the mother of our children. Remember that virtue has over taken you today and ladies look upon your life and call you blessed. Read Proverbs 31 and let the truth of who you are soak into your soul and spirit.

Even though last night may have been rough, Arista is rejoicing inside. She may not be able to communicate it, but she would say, "mommy, thank you so much for staying up with me last night. It meant so much that you were willing to comfort me and love on me even though you wanted to sleep. Thank you for laying down your life in meeting my needs. One day, when I'm older, I'll be able to really articulate how much your love and life means to me. But for now, know that every cue is full of I love you's. You amaze me and I'm so thankful I have you to be my mommy."

I love you honey. Know that there is a fresh reserve to tap into. A reserve of strength, joy, peace, and love. As you wait on Jesus your strength will be renewed. You will mount up like an eagle. You will run and not grow weary. You will walk and not be faint.

Love you more than I really ever know how to express. You mean everything to me.

Brandon xoxoxoxoxo"

marriage

I'm sure most of you will agree that marriage is a wonderful, beautiful, intimate, challenging, sometimes overwhelming and hard thing! How can they be ALL these things and more? I believe because of the sacredness of marriage and all God intends it to be - was meant to ultimately be a for-shadow of something even more supernatural, divine and holy.....Himself!

Think about it for a moment. Now we'll have to put ourselves in a perfect world, ultimately His world, to fully understand what marriage is suppose to represent....meaning let's forget for a moment the flaws of our physical marriages on earth and think about what God says about marriage. We're asked to be married to one person, to be faithful and loyal (Matthew 5:27). Even that our bedroom would be sacred and pure (Hebrews 13:4). We're asked to be joined to this person as One embodiment, where the two flesh become one (Matthew 19:4-6). We're asked to forsake all other family so that we can be joined to this person (Mark 10:6). We're asked to procreate as the fruit of this oneness (Genesis 1:28). We're told two is better than one (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10) and that the fruit of our womb is our inheritance (Psalm 127:3). Yes, we are even told that love is the greatest thing we will ever know, give and become (1 Corinthians 13:13).

If what we are asked to do in the natural is ONLY a foreshadow of what God desires in the spiritual, what would a marriage with the Lord really look like?

Many times throughout scripture we are referenced as His Bride, and even later as His wife. "Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready." (Revelation 19:7) I don't believe this is a futuristic thing, but meant to be a "present" Truth.

And what does it mean to make yourself ready? Think about everything you did to ready yourself before your own wife or husband to be. I think its safe to say that most of us didn't marry our spouses on a blind date, but we entered into a relationship with one another that lead to that partnership. We grew toward love and ultimately a point of decision to make this the person we would spend the rest of our life with. And even in covenant, we remain steadfast in our efforts to getting to know one another in that intimate oneness. BUT THIS IS ALSO WHAT GOD DESIRES OF US!

It is my conviction that marriage with the Lord doesn't necessarily happen the day of salvation, meaning the day we gave our hearts to the Lord. I would dare to say I have met several "believers" who have yet to come into the understanding of what it really means to be married to Jesus. He desires that we would also forsake all other lovers, to be joined together as one embodiment (as Jesus prayed in John 17), to lay down your life for Him (Matthew 16:25) and, yes, to even reproduce with Him (Galatians 4:19)! You think I'm crazy, but it is inevitable, when the two become one, there is procreation. And Jesus wants to reproduce Himself, but I stand fully convinced this only comes through pure, unadulterated, ardent love for God....because in love we can not help but birth His life through us.

He sees us as HIS inheritance and He is just waiting for us to choose Him.

Being His Garden: Identity Crisis Part 2

Awake O North Wind

And come, O South!

Blow upon my garden,

That its spices may flow out.

Let my Beloved come to His garden

and eat its pleasant fruit.

Song of Solomon 4:16

Do you know that you are a garden? And that Jesus desires you to be a "locked garden" a private garden, a "spring enclosed" just for Him? (Song of Solomon 4:12)

Why did God start everything in a garden? Could there possibly be some symbolism of how he views us? Is the Garden of Eden possibly a symbol of God-created fertility?

Genesis 3:10 says, "and Lot lifted his eyes and saw all the plain of Jordan, that it was well watered everywhere (before the Lord destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah) like the Garden of the Lord (the Garden of Eden)..."

If we are gardens, then it is His desire that we would be "well watered". But what keeps us a well watered garden?

Is. 58:11 "the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your soul in drought, and strengthen your bones, you shall be like a watered garden, whose waters do not fail."

The promise is that if we are a watered garden, we will not fail. What will not fail? ....our waters will not fail. Who is the water?

Be married to Jesus:

I can guantee the moment you put your earthly marriage above your marriage with Jesus, you will have marital issues. In fact, marital issues are a direct outflow of marital issues with Jesus.

Are you a locked garden to the Lord? Or are there other things that are taking away your love.

Do you root for Jesus like you root for your football team? or do you think about Him like you think about dinner? Do you care more about what your mother and father think about you than what Jesus thinks? Is your heart (attention) divided? Or do you know who you are and where you are going? Do you have one love you live for, or do you have many lovers?

Jesus will not relent until He has you all! God wants us to be well watered gardens like that of His own! - (like the garden of Eden). He wants us to be the "wife of the Lamb" (Rev. 21:9).

Do you ever wonder why God made man and women the way He did? God always does things a certain way for a purpose. Our earthly marriage between a man and a woman was meant to resemble the image of God. Not just who God is, but also what it looks like when God and man marry and become One. It is His desire, His purpose for us, that we would be made one with Him.

In fact, "Paul of Tarsus used similar imagery elsewhere in his epistles. In his epistle to the Church at Ephesus Paul exhorts the men to love their wives as Christ loved the Church. After further exhortation on marriage, Paul quotes Genesis 2:24, for a man to leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife to become one flesh with her. Paul calls this a mystery because marriage between a man and a woman is a prophetic act of the depth of our relationship with Jesus. This love surpasses our knowledge.[Eph 3:19]" (Wikipedia)

I started this study with Song of Solomon 4:16 because I believe Jesus wants that to be our invitation to Him. And even men can pray this. Just as I see myself as a son of God, so men will have to view themselves as the wife of Christ to inherit the marital blessing with Jesus.

Prayer: Jesus, blow upon my garden just as you blew into Adam and gave Him life. So that its fragrance may go out and people would know of your intimate love. You are my Beloved. Come into my garden and eat. Make me a watered garden, enclosed and locked only to You, my Beloved...my husband.

[To see part 1 of Identity crisis, click here. These are meant to be studies to do on your own time, searching God and the scriptures with your own questions. They're not meant to be quick reads, but more in depth mystery Bible studies....]

Birth Control and Natural Family Planning

There's something that I have really been wanting to share, and with the help of some girlfriends, feel compelled to share. I meet a group of young mothers every Thursday where we talk about various things God puts on our heart. I recently shared with them my deep convictions on why I do not believe birth control was God's plan or design and why. I rarely share those convictions for fear of offending someone or making someone feel violated or invaded by my own thoughts and opinions. While I thought the outcome may not be positive, a lot of the women were thankful i had shared because they never knew the things I spoke about. Hence, I decided that would share on this blog my deep convictions on why I believe in natural family planning. It's not to make anyone feel guilty about using contraceptives, but only to aid you in evaluating what God's desires would be for your own family. I, too, was on Jasmine for my first year of marriage. When God began to speak to me about his desires for me to no longer be on birth control I blew it off as if I were hearing incorrectly. Trust me, being off birth control, at the time, didn't seem like an option. But it was a Voice i couldn't ignore. I had several people randomly start to talk to me about how birth control was abortion, and I would fight with myself inside thinking that were wrong and confused. I couldn't let go of all the studying i had done before making the decision to be on the contraceptive. "This can't be," i thought. "It doesn't make sense...it's not what my doctor said." Needless to say, I got pregnant with Abigail the day I stopped taking Jasmine, which frightened me indeed. And I couldn't help but question, "Lord, have I ever aborted one of your children?"

If still not convinced after reading this blog, here's a nice short video on the deeper positives of natural family planning:

My explanation:

Birth Control Pills and How they Work:

There are two basic pills - combination and mini pills and both work in the same manner. They both act to prevent the release of an egg form the ovary (ovulation). However, women can and do experience breakthrough ovulation - meaning that an egg is released from the ovary and is available to be fertilized by the sperm. Both types of pills also cause the cervical mucus to thicken, making it difficult for the sperm to reach the egg. It is possible, though, for the sperm to break through and to fertilize (a.k.a. conception) the egg. If the egg is fertilized....BAM!, conception has happened.

So the question is....when does life begin? For political reasons, the working definition of pregnancy has changed over the years from..."beginning at fertilization" to...."beginning at implantation".

This is why your doctor can tell you that the pill never aborts a baby (pregnancy). You see both types of pills change the lining of the uterus. this makes it difficult, if not impossible, for the five-to-seven day old baby to attach to the lining of your uterus, where it would receive the nourishment needed to grow. If the baby does not attach successfully to the lining of your uterus, he/she dies and is expelled from the body during menstruation. This process is known as a chemical abortion and is why the pill is referred to as an abortifacient. The lower the dosage of the pill, the more likely it is to work by causing a chemical abortion.

BUT God teaches us that life begins the moment a sperm and egg meet. He said He knew that child, yet, before it were born. The pill does not keep you from getting pregnant, but it will keep you from having children. What will it take for us to really trust God in this way?

There is a great book you can get at your library called The Art of Natural Family Planning by John F. Kippley, Sheila K. Kippley or you can visit this website for some tips. There are usually doctors and nurses who specialize in NFP in your area as well that you could look up. I encourage to seek God's heart in light of this. I thought I had heard from God, but it took a second look and a willingness in my heart to hear God speak differently.

My Dearest Husband,

I love you more than yesterday
Because my love is growing
I admire everything about you
Without you even knowing

It's like the Lord proofs His faithfulness in all that you are to me.
It's wonderful watching you grow into all that God created you to be.

Admiration fills my being. You have come so far.
Now full of life and liberty, how beautiful you are.
Being all that God has intended for you,
The sky isn't even your limit,
The possibilities are endless
When the Spirit of the Lord is in it.

I am completely in love with you, you are my best friend
I promise to walk with you until we reach the end.
For I do not know what heaven looks like, or even if we'll be wed,
but this I know is true, loving you forever is what I intend.

Thank you, my love, for setting yourself a part
Putting Jesus first and giving Him your heart.
It truly shows in all you do, In every inch of your being.
Allowing God and humbling yourself to see what He is seeing.

Thank you friend, for all that you are to me.
You provoke me to be more, to live as if I am free.
Free to be myself was your best advice.
No matter what the cost, no matter what the price.
Because in Christ i can do all things,
It's how you've shown me to live.
You've done it by example,
It's absolutely what you give.

How extravagant your love is for the deepest things of God.
Your desire to know and love Him I have always awed.
So know, my husband, how deep my love is for you.
And I am committed to you in whatever we decide to do.
In choosing to walk together, side by side in life
I am happy to be with you and honored to be your wife.