Natural family planning

Can you relate?

Yeah, we can too :-)

If you haven't heard my story, you should check it out. God's done quite the deep work with my heart since I married my hubby (almost) 6 years ago.

But God's been challenging me EVEN MORE! Last January Brandon and I went to Israel with Burn 24/7. There was a powerful prophetic woman there and she began to talk about children and the conviction of believing the Word of God and what it says about children. The Word is constantly pointing to the next generation, always pointing to family and expansion. With zeal in her heart she began to say how she saw pro-life very differently than most. Many advocates will condemn abortion, whole refusing to allow God to number their own children. It really struck me to the heart. I've always preached this myself. Lord, whatever your will. But many times it's....whatever your will, BUT not my womb Lord! We want to give Him our lives, but we don't want to give Him our womb. And she continued to express, that pro-life to the Lord is exactly that....you are FOR every life He wants to bring through you. Wow. What conviction! What revelation! What a challenge!

After having our third at home, we decided to take a break. And, really, since the first time I decided to stop taking birth control, we family planned. I really wanted a 3-4 year break. My body was having a hard time adjusting to pregnancies so close together and my baby weight was coming off slower and slower after each baby. I didn't feel healthy, so I didn't want a baby. Sounds reasonable right? Not to mention all the things I wanted beforehand: more money, bigger house, more time, more help, more support, more, more, more...

Sure its reasonable, but I have to confess...I hardened my heart to hear anything outside of what my own plans were. I did what was practical, what felt right. It wasn't until a couple months ago when I had two back-to-back dreams where I had more children in them. Then it was followed by a dream my husband had saying we missed hearing God in this. Needless to say, I WAS UNDONE! And after seeking the Lord pertaining to it all, I felt a softening in my heart. It didn't mean we were going to start trying tomorrow, but the Lord was dealing with something that was in my heart.....an unsurrendered womb. Here I am telling others to practice what they preach, and the Lord is showing me how I'm not living out my own message.

What's the principle? I don't know when we're suppose to have another baby, but I know it will most likely be before I originally planned. My heart is open and my ears are listening, and that is what is important. I can't tell Him my life is His but reserve my womb for myself. And the truth is, when I look at each of my children I would not give them up for anything, even a little extra weight. They are diamonds in the Kingdom; they are a birthing of a movement; they are priceless gifts that can not be measured....and that is the truth.

bonding and babies....

so, this post is going to be somewhat intrusive but I assure you it is only meant to encourage each MARRIED couple and family to having a God-purposed relationship and marriage.

Bet you can't guess the number one question I get from my blog writing. It surprises me too, but because its happened so much I've decided to talk about it on the blog because I'm sure more people are thinking and wondering but not asking. Here it is:

How do you feel about a couple using condoms as a form of birth control?

So, if this is you first time reading anything I've posted on birth control or natural family planning I encourage you to read THIS first so you have a deeper understanding of where I'm coming from. But more importantly so you have an open heart to the Lord regarding your family's future.

Apart from the HUGE ethical issue I have with birth control, in which you can see my blog on how birth control came about here, I also have a morality issue with it. God gave us two purposes with the act of sex and, in short, I call it bonding and babies. First He gave us the ability to have intimacy with our spouse that no one else should have. Simply, marriage without the bedroom really wouldn't be a marriage at all because its through sex that covenant is consummated. Don't get me wrong, marriage is not all about sex, but it certainly brings to perfection the "oneness" a man and a women in covenant have. Second, we were given the ability to pro-create. The fact that we were given this gift is a BIG TIME virtue! Ezekiel 47, the story of the Millennial River, a lot of us know it but very few of us have ever looked at it as a fertility story. But I can tell you this, the prophet speaks of trees that bring forth fruit EVERY month (vs. 12) and we also are like those trees. As a woman we have been given a pure and undefiled gift, ovulation. And God has given us the tools, to not only know our own bodies through NFP, but to also have our spouses learn right along with us. The minute we invade that gift with stopping the ability to pro-create we are saying that "baby making" is a big time problem to God. Um...not sure He's gonna take that so well. But, hey....I'm not God. But I can assure you that FERTILITY is not our enemy and "fruitfullness" is the inevitable by-product of intimacy within your marriage. When we try to change that its as if we took out the conclusion in a climatic story.

SO, I realize I have not answered the question yet and I went on my own tangent. Maybe because the answer is still not that simple, but maybe it is. My simple answer? Ask God what He thinks. Invite Jesus into the marital bedroom with your spouse. Ask God for His timing, His order, His opinion. Sure....you can do what you want and God is faithful to bless it. But do we want what is good when we could have great? No, I don't believe condoms are evil. And, yes, we use them. But it still doesn't answer the question as efficiently as I would like because no one sees the praying, the seeking, the openess and vulnerbility we have with Jesus to come to a place where we know that is what He wants. So my best advice....listen to God.

(Hope this helps. And the post is not meant to step on toes or cause offense but only to answer the question as best I know how in my own personal convictions God has given me.)

Birth Control and Natural Family Planning

There's something that I have really been wanting to share, and with the help of some girlfriends, feel compelled to share. I meet a group of young mothers every Thursday where we talk about various things God puts on our heart. I recently shared with them my deep convictions on why I do not believe birth control was God's plan or design and why. I rarely share those convictions for fear of offending someone or making someone feel violated or invaded by my own thoughts and opinions. While I thought the outcome may not be positive, a lot of the women were thankful i had shared because they never knew the things I spoke about. Hence, I decided that would share on this blog my deep convictions on why I believe in natural family planning. It's not to make anyone feel guilty about using contraceptives, but only to aid you in evaluating what God's desires would be for your own family. I, too, was on Jasmine for my first year of marriage. When God began to speak to me about his desires for me to no longer be on birth control I blew it off as if I were hearing incorrectly. Trust me, being off birth control, at the time, didn't seem like an option. But it was a Voice i couldn't ignore. I had several people randomly start to talk to me about how birth control was abortion, and I would fight with myself inside thinking that were wrong and confused. I couldn't let go of all the studying i had done before making the decision to be on the contraceptive. "This can't be," i thought. "It doesn't make sense...it's not what my doctor said." Needless to say, I got pregnant with Abigail the day I stopped taking Jasmine, which frightened me indeed. And I couldn't help but question, "Lord, have I ever aborted one of your children?"

If still not convinced after reading this blog, here's a nice short video on the deeper positives of natural family planning:

My explanation:

Birth Control Pills and How they Work:

There are two basic pills - combination and mini pills and both work in the same manner. They both act to prevent the release of an egg form the ovary (ovulation). However, women can and do experience breakthrough ovulation - meaning that an egg is released from the ovary and is available to be fertilized by the sperm. Both types of pills also cause the cervical mucus to thicken, making it difficult for the sperm to reach the egg. It is possible, though, for the sperm to break through and to fertilize (a.k.a. conception) the egg. If the egg is fertilized....BAM!, conception has happened.

So the question is....when does life begin? For political reasons, the working definition of pregnancy has changed over the years from..."beginning at fertilization" to...."beginning at implantation".

This is why your doctor can tell you that the pill never aborts a baby (pregnancy). You see both types of pills change the lining of the uterus. this makes it difficult, if not impossible, for the five-to-seven day old baby to attach to the lining of your uterus, where it would receive the nourishment needed to grow. If the baby does not attach successfully to the lining of your uterus, he/she dies and is expelled from the body during menstruation. This process is known as a chemical abortion and is why the pill is referred to as an abortifacient. The lower the dosage of the pill, the more likely it is to work by causing a chemical abortion.

BUT God teaches us that life begins the moment a sperm and egg meet. He said He knew that child, yet, before it were born. The pill does not keep you from getting pregnant, but it will keep you from having children. What will it take for us to really trust God in this way?

There is a great book you can get at your library called The Art of Natural Family Planning by John F. Kippley, Sheila K. Kippley or you can visit this website for some tips. There are usually doctors and nurses who specialize in NFP in your area as well that you could look up. I encourage to seek God's heart in light of this. I thought I had heard from God, but it took a second look and a willingness in my heart to hear God speak differently.