Thursday, February 3, 2011

bonding and babies....

so, this post is going to be somewhat intrusive but I assure you it is only meant to encourage each MARRIED couple and family to having a God-purposed relationship and marriage.

Bet you can't guess the number one question I get from my blog writing. It surprises me too, but because its happened so much I've decided to talk about it on the blog because I'm sure more people are thinking and wondering but not asking. Here it is:

How do you feel about a couple using condoms as a form of birth control?

So, if this is you first time reading anything I've posted on birth control or natural family planning I encourage you to read THIS first so you have a deeper understanding of where I'm coming from. But more importantly so you have an open heart to the Lord regarding your family's future.

Apart from the HUGE ethical issue I have with birth control, in which you can see my blog on how birth control came about here, I also have a morality issue with it. God gave us two purposes with the act of sex and, in short, I call it bonding and babies. First He gave us the ability to have intimacy with our spouse that no one else should have. Simply, marriage without the bedroom really wouldn't be a marriage at all because its through sex that covenant is consummated. Don't get me wrong, marriage is not all about sex, but it certainly brings to perfection the "oneness" a man and a women in covenant have. Second, we were given the ability to pro-create. The fact that we were given this gift is a BIG TIME virtue! Ezekiel 47, the story of the Millennial River, a lot of us know it but very few of us have ever looked at it as a fertility story. But I can tell you this, the prophet speaks of trees that bring forth fruit EVERY month (vs. 12) and we also are like those trees. As a woman we have been given a pure and undefiled gift, ovulation. And God has given us the tools, to not only know our own bodies through NFP, but to also have our spouses learn right along with us. The minute we invade that gift with stopping the ability to pro-create we are saying that "baby making" is a big time problem to God. Um...not sure He's gonna take that so well. But, hey....I'm not God. But I can assure you that FERTILITY is not our enemy and "fruitfullness" is the inevitable by-product of intimacy within your marriage. When we try to change that its as if we took out the conclusion in a climatic story.

SO, I realize I have not answered the question yet and I went on my own tangent. Maybe because the answer is still not that simple, but maybe it is. My simple answer? Ask God what He thinks. Invite Jesus into the marital bedroom with your spouse. Ask God for His timing, His order, His opinion. can do what you want and God is faithful to bless it. But do we want what is good when we could have great? No, I don't believe condoms are evil. And, yes, we use them. But it still doesn't answer the question as efficiently as I would like because no one sees the praying, the seeking, the openess and vulnerbility we have with Jesus to come to a place where we know that is what He wants. So my best advice....listen to God.

(Hope this helps. And the post is not meant to step on toes or cause offense but only to answer the question as best I know how in my own personal convictions God has given me.)


  1. very good stuff, Crystal. This can be a touchy subject and I think you tackled it well. When we first got married (11 years ago) I was on the pill and about 6 months later I went off of it and have stayed off ever since. I, too have strong opinions about the pill. We have been using NFP rather loosely for awhile and have been trying to conceive again. It is taking longer than we would have hoped but, we're trusting in God's timing. Thank you so much for not being afraid to be a voice about these things. God will certainly bless you for it, and give you more opportunities to share your heart because you are willing to do so. :)

  2. I truly wish more parents would teach thier children about NPF for numerous reasons. I recently read a very good article about staying open and honest with our children about sex. This is the best defense against teenage pregnancy and STD's....I have yet to read an article that encourages parents to teach young ladies about thier cycle and when they are most fertile...what a better way to empower our children for thier future but to teach them about Natural Family Planning...Although I would not condone sex outside of marriage I do want my daughter to be very educated about her fertility cycle even before she gets married so she does not have to go down the birth control road if she does not wish to.

  3. I LOVED learning all about my fertility and cycle, through NFP over 11 years ago right before we got married... and we continue to use NFP- although we do occasionally "cheat" and use a condom when I know I am fertile and we are intimate at that time. I think the female monthly cycle is soooo incredibly amazing and I remember feeling even more happy about being a woman, about the privilege it is- after seeing how intricately designed my body is... and to recognize what a tremendous and beautiful and AWEsome treasure it is to be able to carry another human being inside my body and nourish it from my own self, and then continue to do so, with breastfeeding! I, too, am in opposition to the pill... for several reasons, actually.
    Heather H.


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