Worship Angels

Every morning the girls and I worship together before we begin school. 

This week I was thoroughly blessed by Abby and Issy in their faith. 

They dressed up and swooped in with the Spirit and worshipped their hearts out. 

They Called themselves the Angel of Fire and the Angel of Love. 

It wasn't long after that Super Angel had to show up on the scene!

We giggled, worshipped, and totally were blasted with the presence of God. It was marvelous. These girls never cease to amaze me. Their faith is so pure and raw.

Here they are flying away in the wind. So much good energy! We were getting so filled with joy!

And the Angels made sure to visit all the babies :-)

It was truly a beautiful place- watching your children worship, in free expression. I could just picture the delight on Jesus' face. How it brought Him such pleasure!

Dance, worship, believe. Because I'm sure we entertained Angels today.....

surrender to love

It’s not just one way with the Lord.

In the church we like to preach there's only one way. Yes, Jesus is THE WAY. And it is ONLY through Him that truth comes. Where things get a little confusing, and vision some what clouded, is when we begin to idolize one way the Lord speaks, or one way the Lord moves, or one way the Lord accomplishes something. We idolize an idea of God, rather than falling in love with Jesus Himself. When there is a move of the Holy Spirit, we leave changed. But when we try to replicate it just because that is how God moved before, it doesn't always produce the same fruit. He is always doing something new, in a new way. Getting comfortable in the works of God without life-giving relationship leads to religion.  Religion without relationship leads to bondage. It's never one way with the Lord because the basis of all that He does is on ONE THING: intimacy with Him. RELATIONSHIP. So as much as our ideas about tithing, ideas about membership in our churches, ideas about how a worship service should be run, ideas about theology, ideas about what is right or what is wrong….comes this very dichotomy: NONE OF IT MATTERS OUTSIDE OF RELATIONSHIP. You see I’m the best pretender of them all.  I’ve become great at pretending I’m an awesome spiritual person by proving I can live right. I can pretend to hear the voice of God by only regurgitating theological information that has been taught to me in the past. I can easily look like I have it all together when, spiritually, I may be falling apart. But am I falling more in love with an idea of God, more than I am falling madly in love with Jesus Himself? What leads me to do what I do? Did Jesus tell me to do, say, or live the way I have chosen to today? Do I worship Him because of duty? Do I worship Him out of discipline? Or do I worship Him out of delight? What is my driving force? Does loving Him bring me pleasure? I have come to conclude if love is not that driving force, everything else is meaningless.

Yesterday I watched a film that left me completely undone. "Compelled by Love" is a documentary based on the life of Heidi Baker and her impact on the world. Here you have a woman who puts Jesus in physical form. It's obvious she is living, breathing, tangibly loving like Jesus. It’s Him…..in Heidi’s body. I’ve personally never been able to see such a manifestation in a person. You look into her eyes filled with light and all you see is Jesus staring you in the face. I’m not idolizing her, but what I do acknowledge is that her life has been completely surrendered to the love of God. She has given herself over to Jesus 100%, and I can not deny it challenges me to most deepest and darkest parts of my heart. I. am. undone. A couple years ago I read her book, Compelled by Love, which was also a turning point in my walk with the Lord. It was through her life and the revelation of the Beatitudes I was left knowing my life was not my own. That I would “lose my life to find it” (Matthew 10:39). And again, today, all I could meditate on was how much I wanted Him. It’s a fascinating thing. I know the FULLNESS of God lives and moves and has His being in me. I lack no good thing and He has given me all that I need. But somehow there is a paradigm between that Truth and the manifestation of that fullness being lived out. I must come in agreement with that truth, but I must also learn the sweet art of surrendering to the truth. It’s not enough to know. As Believers, we often feel like we know many biblical truths. But is that what leads us to knowing Him? I personally do not think so. It’s surrendering to Truth, to Him. It’s unadulterated, completely abandoned surrender to the journey of falling in love with Him through intimacy. It’s scary. But there is no safer place to be.

If you have some time to give God, may this be a gift to you. Even if you listen in a quiet place for 20 minutes, I am sure it will be a blessing. It was to me.

Living Full

This past year has been full! Full of good things, yet, I find myself sweetly anticipating this much needed break from the rest of the world. You see, every year I sit and evaluate my past year: the decisions I've made, the dreams I put to motion, the responsibilities I carried, my walk as wife, mother, and daughter of God. Did I live well? Did I live full? Did I live in constant joy and peace? What was challenging in 2015? What was empowering? I take a time of reflection before entering the new year so that I can set new goals, continuing to move forward in my dreams, and to find grace in what this next year may hold for me. It's a time of planning, but its also a time of vulnerability - because I must zero in on my own heart and the challenges it faces (in the life I have chosen to live) and to choose to live according to the Spirit. This requires me to shut off the rest of the world (and the voice of reason) so I can really be sensitive to the Holy Spirit. Often times this incorporates some sort of fast, so that I can practice the habit of surrender and humility. Fasting always puts my heart in a place where I'm inclined to lean, listen, and trust just a bit more. But this year I felt led to fast differently. As a mother to 5 (all under the age of 8), homeschooling and being a home-maker, while caring for the needs of my husband, and those whom I am in relationship with, along with the desires that are in my own heart to tackle, I realize that Grace comes with a name, and His name is Jesus. And if I am to move forward in all He has for me, living full (this means without complaining, without bitterness and without anxiety) in the joy, the love, and the richness of His goodness, I must be willing to lay down some things. Why do we fight so hard to give up control when our hearts ache so long to do so? I ask myself this often. I KNOW He is the SOURCE of every good and great thing, yet I can struggle so hard to release control over my own life. So as I enter 2016, I am fasting every external voice that has the [POTENTIAL] to influence my life negatively. This sounds simple right? But its not as simple as I thought. I began to explore all the external things that could potentially influence my thoughts negatively. And I realized that the potential for that is happening everywhere. I have to give up facebook, Instagram (what if there' a picture that causes jealousy, envy, or coveting???), Netflix, movies, alcohol. I don't think any of these are bad or wrong! So hear my heart. But they do have the "power of influence" and for principle alone, I knew it was something God was calling me to in this next season. I'm giving him 40 days. My hope and desire is that God will give me strategy, fresh breath on all these areas that play a role in my life, including how to live day to day with my family and how to make sure they are getting the best "Me" they could get. The best Me comes from the Holy Spirit and the joy, passion, and love that He gives me to live life with them.

This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words. For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him? Even so the thoughts of God no one knows except the Spirit of God. [So if we want to know the thoughts, heart and wisdom of the Holy Spirit, we must activate Him within us. In order to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit, we must also silence its opposing voice, the voice of the world, the voice of reason.] Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God, [all that we desire, every good gift, everything we need is free. It is a gift given to us by the Spirit of God. Don't we want to know the things given freely to us by the Holy Spirit?]  But a natural man does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually appraised. But he who is spiritual evaluates all things, yet he himself is appraised by no one. For WHO HAS KNOWN THE MIND OF THE LORD, THAT HE WILL INSTRUCT HIM? But we have the mind of Christ.

1 Corinthians 2:13-16

I am actually excited to fast from all media. I am in great anticipation to know, see, and understand the gift of God on my life. We all have been given the gift of life - and we are meant to enjoy it! The curse has been broken. No more sweat. No more striving. No more stress or worry. No more living oppressed by the responsibilities of life. Life doesn't have to steal from us. Rather it's there to be a blessing. It can bring us overwhelming joy, peace that transcends our own human reason, fulfillment and happiness that money can not provide. Jesus has a gift for us if we make ourselves available to receive it. I want it.

I'm not too keen on making New Years resolutions. But I'm all about dreaming big and setting goals to get to where you want to be. Dreams come with a cost. Every year is a step closer to living my dreams out fully. So what I am committed to in 2016, is a year living full - full of grace, full of peace, full of contentment, full of love, full of every good thing, full of blessing upon blessing, and being able to recognize it all, always being filled with thankfulness. We must protect our hearts from anything less. It is God's pleasure to see us blessed, and to know it.

The best things in life can not be bought. They are simply lived.

Live full for 2016!

Grandparents

GRANDPARENTS

Grandparents bestow upon their grandchildren

The strength and wisdom that time

And experience have given them.

Great grandma Claire

Grandchildren bless their Grandparents

With a youthful vitality and innocence

That help them stay young at heart forever.

Meme (grandma Carol)

Together they create a chain of love

Linking the past with the future.

The chain may lengthen,

But it will never part...

~Author Unknown~

Papa Dave

Nana (grandma Cheryl) 

Papa Vince

Grandpa Jeff

2015 Newsletter

Click to enlarge:

Heidi's First Birthday!

i can't believe I forgot to post these 1st year pictures of Heidi! 

She's super duper cute! And so full of life and JOY!

March 13, 2014

tribute to the birthday boy!

Brandon is one heck of a fella!

He always knows how to bring out the fun and joy in others.

He is the best birth bud there is.

He never left my side...

....And he is certainly outnumbered by many little flowers..

but, He is like a sturdy tree for such delicacy.

And he will cheerlead you to the finish line,

and come behind some of your biggest dreams...

and will be the brother you hoped you had.

It's like he has super powers or something,

cuz no one can baby wear and still look this good! ;-)

Brandon, we love you. Your life inspires us! 

HAPPY 32nd BIRTHDAY 

to one awesome husband, daddy, friend, and brother!

Happy Birthday!

This spunky and eclectic girl is 4 years old today!!!

This one makes sure you never get bored, never go home without laughing, and to keep the party going long! LOL! She is by far the funky corky comedian that keeps us all smiling. Her many faces bring joy to our day, and her beauty shines in her creative life-song. Miss Arista - you the stars in our gaze and we love you!!! 

Nova's Home Birth

simplicity and love

This hangs in my dining room:

The author can be found here

Life with 5 children, all 6 years old and younger, is soon to be my new normal. Sometimes you don't know what you're capable of until you go for it. I wasn't expecting for things to happen this quickly, but they have. Reality is, I've had to have a complete mind-shift these last 5 years. Raising children can be exhausting, but it can also be energizing. I've learned to not stress the small stuff, and find the things that are truly important to me. I owe a lot of who I have become, and even who I am becoming, to my children. A sure humbling experience everyday.

There are also days where I want to step back into old habits. You know, the ones that cause you anxiety and worry. Those things that you've learned to let go, but sometimes want to creep back into your priorities. One of those things for me is feeling the need to make everyone happy. I've always been a sensitive person, caring what others think. I put the expectation on myself to try to meet other's expectations of me. It always caused me a lot of anxiety. I learned early on (especially after becoming a mother), that I'm not capable of meeting other's expectations. Somewhere, at some point, I'm going to disappoint. I needed to make peace with that and be free from those thoughts that would keep me up at night. I learned I couldn't carry that weight - especially if I wanted to give my children first fruits (and not my left-overs from the end of the day). So much of my energy is exerted to my children these days, and for good reason. They are young. We homeschool. We homestead. I disciple them and am available to them as homemaker and everything in between. When the day is done, I really have little to give to anyone else - and that is the truth. It won't be like this forever. And truth is, the more I accept this reality as a pure gift from God, the better I can live out this "hands-free" pledge. Motherhood has taught me to let go of those things that distract me. I've redefined perfection as simplicity and love. In every home that may take on a different face. 

I'm not only living hands free, but I'm choosing to live free. Its something my children teach me everyday. Not a care in the world for them, and yet they live in such joy, seizing the gift of today. What a beautiful thing!

days do get easier

Pretty Much :) LOL!

Actually, we've finally seem to be hitting a turn these days. My oldest, still only 6, is coming to a place where she really is helpful. 

Our children are all so young, and so these past 6 years sometimes seem like only a blur. But its a blessing to see the older ones help ----- and what a relief! 

I was so impressed today by those girls! Abby helped me shovel out the chicken coop today. Then she made soup for dinner and cut everything up herself. Issy helped find the chickens and lead them back home this evening and all of them raved about Abby's soup over dinner (I don't even get that). They all knocked out within 15 min of going to bed and I'm shocked. 

They earned this nights sleep. Proud momma moment.

motherhood is

less about losing yourself, and more about finding who you are. 

While I don't think we should lose our own dreams, aspirations, or identity in our children, I do believe they can highly enrich those three areas of life when we fully embrace all that mothering offers. 

My hands are full - full of beauty, full of love, full of wonder. 

I am living a dream of making disciples, giving myself over to love, and finding beauty in everyday life. 

No one said dreams were gonna be easy to achieve, only that we are to dream big; sometimes what we are not told is that "the bigger the dream, the greater the sacrifice."

 Motherhood, for me, is just that. 

My children are not a burden. 

They are not trophies. 

They are my dreams coming alive.

Heidi's Home Birth

Birth without fear.

Birth as it was meant to be.

Joyful Birth.

I just want to say thank you to my incredible birth team!

First, to my husband, Brandon, who was there beside me the entire time. He prayed, loved and supported me with every part of the labor, which helped made the process a joy! I am so thankful to share this life with him!

Thank you to my midwives, Brigitte and Charity, who always make me feel incredibly safe and encouraged. They put their heart into what they do, and it really makes all the difference when you feel so vulnerable. 

Thank you Karen, who was both my doula and photographer. The grace you carry to lift up the mother is incredible. Your prayers, and your ongoing affirmation was simple, yet supernatural. And the way you captured the birth of our beautiful baby is breath-taking! 

Happy Holidays!

Hello From The Jackels

We've had a house church in the city now for about 3 years and love for community continues to grow in our hearts. We never knew how the Lord would really move us out in this way. We trusted He would, in His time. 12.4 acres, two houses, over 7,000 sq. feet of living space, 10 bedrooms, 4 kitchens, 7 full baths, and a whole lot of space ready for lovin'!

Covenant Home (our house church in Rochester) is no longer meeting, but we hope to stay in contact with all the people we have fell in love with! Burn Rochester continues to meet monthly in on-going worship and prayer. With the new property the Lord has given us we desire to be a resource to communities, ministries, and other gifted people in the Body of Christ as a way of discipling the nations! As a retreat center and a place birthing community it is our desire to continue to steward all God has bestowed on us as individuals and with those we have networked with. Its really only a larger painter's palette where the Lord can do greater things!

Urban Monesticism is a word we have been throwing around for years, but not really bringing a lot of definition to. Simply we desire to see people live their lives completely for Christ, relevant to the people they are in relationship with. Our desire is to be a monastic (meaning oneness) presence-centered (the experience aspect of being one with Christ) community that lives in radical love. We believe that cultivating intimacy through vertical worship and prayer (intimacy with Jesus), along with understanding the mystery of the Word, and discipling in both a community and individual setting can cultivate a thriving Church representing Christ in the earth today! The supernatural grace-filled life is the normal Christian life available to us.

We envision the Church, walking and doing life together, living radical supernatural lives by the power of the Holy Spirit, b e i n g o f o n e m i n d , worshipping God in all things! (Philippians 2)

 
 

QUICK UPDATE: So much has happened since our last newsletter. Brandon has fallen in love with India and the orphanage there. He plans to return soon in hope to bring a team with him in the future. This is also our first year homeschooling, which has been tremendous thus far. We feel blessed beyond measure in this season. We are expecting baby girl #4 this March! With many new exciting things, we often lose sight of these blessings in life. Above all, we feel a grace to lead in love with our children as we rest and seek The Lord for this coming year. Brandon has a new career as a registered nurse in a hospital closer to our new home, which has made life easier for us as well. Crystal is now a trained doula and is currently working towards her DONA doula certification, along with continuing education through the Welton Academy Supernatural Bible School. She has been asked to lead worship for the school come Spring semester. Abigail, 5, Israel , 3, and Arista, 2, all love their new home! They have adjusted well and are some of the most lively, loving children. They love to create and worship. They often see in the Spirit and have developed such genuine relationships with The Lord. Thank you for your continued love and support this past year.

Endless love and Merry Christmas,

Brandon and Crystal

Abigail, Israel, Arista and baby Jackel

DIY Christmas Ornaments (great for the kids)

Clay Ornaments:

1 cup regular table salt

2 cups white flour

1 cup luke warm water

Mix all together in a bowl and they lay out with a rolling pin in sections. 

We used Christmas cookie cutters. 

We set the ornaments inside the stove at 200 degrees for about an hour, half hour on each side. After cooling we painted them with acrylic paint. We formed the hanging holes while still warm from the oven with the point of a pen and once finished strung with thin yarn :)

Enjoy! The kids loved this so much they keep asking to do it again!

Snowflake Ornaments:

Popsicle sticks

Glue

These were so easy for the girls and could do it all on their own! Even my three year old was capable to doing it!

Then once dried, paint and be-dazzle with sparkles! 

This is the first year we will have a (real) tree with the kids. So because this is a big deal for us (after 5 years of no tree), we decided to make it memorable - in hope to make the tree a complete expression of the children. Here's to great traditional memories!

Am I called to the earth?

I was recently "googling" whether Jell-O was gluten-free, when I had a storm of thoughts pertaining to "sub-duing and taken dominion over the earth" as believers. I know, not quite your typical thought process happening here, but I can explain. It really all started when I saw someone comment about Jello-O being made from the bones and cartilage of animal matter. The person pretty much said eating Jell-O was disgusting and now that we know better we should make better decisions about what part of the animal we are eating. I found this ignorant statement somewhat embarrassing, as the person continued to talk about the savaging in Native American (better as "First Nations" people) customs, who used every part of the animal for something. "We should know better now...." she said.

 

I do have a point in all this. I recently have been very intrigued by Native American beliefs and customs and have been fascinated with their love for life. I have also been deeply inspired by their respect for the earth and every living thing in it. I'm NOT saying I embrace all their practices and ways of worship (all first nations tribes can be vastly different from one another). But what I am saying, is I found that they have tapped into a way of life, that is a very instinctly way of living, that we have exited out of a society as a whole - especially in the church. Native American beliefs are deeply rooted in their culture. They believe EVERYTHING is sacred, from the largest mountain to the smallest plant and animal. A lesson can be found in all experiences and everything has a purpose. To sum up Native spirituality: it is about HONOR, LOVE, and RESPECT. Not only do they love, honor, and respect our Creator and our "Mother Earth", but also every living thing. It is about being in touch with ourselves and everything around us. It is about knowing and understanding that we are part of everything, and everything is a part of us, believing we are all One. In fact, the reason why a native man would use every part of the animal was not because he was a "savage" but because he lived in harmony with creation. He wanted the living thing to only die with [full] purpose. It doesn't make sense to a native American to waste anything, because it goes against his code of honor. If it has to die, then it must be utilized in every possible way. This became their way of survival. I feel as a culture as a whole we could learn a lot from this. I have personally seen a lot of people (even in the church) mock this "organic" was of living that is starting to trend now, as if it's a new thing. But guess what? Going green, or being "crunchy" or a little "granola", or even a bit "natural" isn't AT ALL a new thing - it's a divine thing, and he's put the instinct in us from the beginning.

My question to many believers who preach and teach on subduing the earth, taking dominion, establishing His Kingdom, and bringing heaven on earth is this - what are you eating everyday? You see its really not only about getting healthy (although that's an incentive). But the bigger picture is this - how are we living in harmony with the earth? And how are we stewarding this power that we have in the earth? Are we eating and living as if we really do believe we are called to steward the earth? Isn't this how the garden scene starts in Genesis? Its amazing to me the interactions Adam has with the animals as he names each one. And, here, you have the most "humane" scene ever - everything the earth was created to produce was there, that Adam could enjoy without any striving. And the beauty of it all was beheld by him and he took dominion over this portion of earth and living beings with respect and trust. I sometimes wonder if Adam could understand what the animals were saying at this time - I wonder what they would speak to one another about. It seems to me that we were meant to be in-tune to what nature was speaking, what it was producing, and what its purpose was. "Sub-due the earth" means to "till it, to keep it" and it was one of the first things God ask of us after creating us. Seems to me that if God restored us to our original design through the second adam, Jesus, that this would hold true to us today.  “...be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion” (Gen 1:28)

 

Humanity has more than just our nutritive/vegetative and animalistic/reproductive elements. We stand above plants and animals as rational creatures toward which they are ordered. So, I'm not saying we should go and worship creation. But I do believe in honoring creation, we worship the Creator. In our cultural crisis, some people overreact to our separation from nature and make nature an end in itself. Nature is not a regular part of most of our lives and (some) of the environmental movement is actually another symptom of this isolation. Rather than recognizing the purpose of nature, some environmentalists hold it up as something for its own sake. Producing works of culture, on the other hand, clearly reminds us that the rest of creation is subordinate to us and is meant for us. Agriculturally speaking, planting seeds, tending plant and animal life, and harvesting give us a glimpse of God’s creation being cultivated in order to sustain and uphold us.

So what am I saying in all this? Maybe.....just maybe its not a trend, but a divine movement of us getting back to what we were created for? Is it too beyond our faith to think so? Are we called to not just love one another, but to also live in harmony with all God has put here for us?

What do you think?